למרות שמרבית הדברים בחיינו חיוביים, מספר מועט של אירועים, רגשות ומחשבות שליליים מצליחים להשתלט עלינו ויוצרים תמונה שחורה של חיינו. נשמע פסימי? יש מה לעשות בעניין

דינה גורדון | 11 בפברואר 2020 | פסיכולוגיה | 12 דק׳

כיצד נגטיביות שולטת בכל היבט בחיינו ואיך ניתן לשלוט בה בחזרה

רוי באומייסטר (Baumeister) היה סטודנט מחקר צעיר לפסיכולוגיה באוניברסיטת פרינסטון, כאשר החליט לעשות מחקר חלוצי עם מדגם של אדם אחד בלבד – הוא עצמו. באותה תקופה היה לו קשר רומנטי עם אישה מקסימה, מבריקה ואוהבת. רוב הזמן היא אכן הייתה כזאת. אבל מדי פעם היו לה התקפי זעם וצעקות שהשאירו אותו מיואש ומבולבל. היא הייתה יכולה להתעצבן ממה שהיה נראה לו כעניינים שטותיים, כמו טפטוף של מים על רצפת האמבטיה כאשר התקלח או כאשר שכח לנתק את המגהץ מהחשמל.

עם זאת, אחרי כל עימות שכזה היא הייתה ממש מלאת חרטה, התנצלה מכל הלב, לקחה את האשמה על עצמה והסבירה לו בשלווה למה היא התעצבנה כל כך. כאשר הוא הקשיב לה, הוא שוב הוקסם ממנה, כל הספקות שלו נעלמו, והם היו מבטיחים זה לזו להשתדל יותר להתחשב זה בזו. הימים הטובים חזרו, אבל לא לאורך זמן. אחרי מספר ימים היא שוב הייתה מתפרצת בהתקף זעם, הוא היה עוזב, ולמחרת בבוקר הם שוב היו מתפייסים. מה לעשות שקל באומייסטר? האם כדאי לנתק קשר שהביא לו כל כך הרבה שמחה ואהבה? הוא לא סמך על רגשותיו שהיטלטלו בקיצוניות בין אושר לייאוש.

רוצה לקרוא עוד?

להמשך קריאה הירשמו או התחברו

תמונה: Shutterstock

תמונה: Shutterstock

אילוסטרציה: מגזין אפוק, Shutterstock

לשמור בבטן: הפסיכולוגיה של ההסתרה וההשלכות הבלתי צפויות על הבריאות שלנו

דינה גורדון

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תיאוריית "תנו להם": היישום המודרני של עקרונות הסטואיזם

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הסוד לזוגיות ארוכת טווח: זה לא הם, זה אתם

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האנשים החכמים בעולם: שומר הבר ממונטנה, היועצת וילד הפלא

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צילום: Shutterstock

אסטרטגיות למידה: איך לזכור יותר ולהבין לעומק

מאיה מזרחי

ברואר מציע להיעזר בטכניקות של מודעות כדי לשנות את הרגלי האכילה שלנו | איור אילוסטרציה: מגזין אפוק

משחקי הרעב: איך לרזות באמצעות התבוננות פנימה

רקפת תבור

הירשמו לניוזלטר שלנו וקבלו תוכן חדש למייל מדי חודש

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